Tonight I realized, again, that my mother is stalking me on Facebook. It is completely disgusting and creeps me out to know she’s following me around, reading the comments I write even to people she doesn’t know. How did I find out? She followed up my comment with one of her own.
On top of everything else her spelling and grammar are heinous.
I’ve blocked her completely in the past, but I’d rather she’s unaware I even care. So now I’m going to have to play games.
Perhaps I will come out as a lesbian on Facebook, but only make it so my mom can read it. Is that even possible? I’m not sure. I think maybe if she can read it then her friends can read it and that’s not what I want. I want her to be the only one reading it while thinking it’s public to the world.
Or perhaps I should develop a disease or win the lottery. I’m not sure which would bother her more, but I’m pretty sure it’s the lottery.
* * * * *
She began contacting peope when I went to Illinois via Minnesota in September, merely a flight layover. I mentioned Minneapolis on-line, never realizing it would flush out her snooping. Well, it did.
She’s not even slick about it. She asked a former high school classmate of mine: “Do you know why Pam is going to Minneapolis?” She also asked my aunt, including the statement: “Do you know why Pam is going to Minnesota? She doesn’t talk to her sister and I much, we don’t know why.”
Oh, you don’t know why?
Her best friend saw me this summer and said,
“Oh, I’m always happy to see you, Pam, no matter what your mother says about you.”
In person Mom couldn’t care less what I have to say. It’s happened many times, I relax enough to tell her a story, look at her face and realize she’s not listening. She’s not even looking at me. And I feel like an idiot once again.
In July at my high school reunion she told me “What goes around comes around” in relation to my son. She believes her parenting of me is relatively identical to my parenting of him. I moved away, he moved away, and she wants me to know I’m to blame. I’m sure if truth were told she would imagine herself the better mother. At which point I would be forced to set her on fire.
She’s the mother who came home for my brother’s wedding, told him she had no cash money, so was bringing tuna salad and a sneer as her offering. The same woman who brought home a couple of guys and fucked one while the other robbed my brother’s coin collection when he was a teenager.
I’m not even joking when I say men have died to get away from her and her venomous mouth and evil countenance.
This is a woman who sold my sister a car she knew was a lemon, even though she didn’t pay anything for it. She was running a car lot and this car came in as part of a deal. It was actually dangerous. When my sister began driving a truck (Mom was the dispatcher and company owner) she sent her to dangerous places men wouldn’t go.
She’s the same woman who begged me to come home for Christmas, purchased the ticket, then talked about the expense the entire time I was home, beginning minutes after my arrival.
I think that was the same trip I was picked up at O’Hare Airport with her husband at the wheel, a cooler of beer between the front bucket seats, in a snowstorm. And dropped off in Indianapolis after riding 2.5 hours with 3 dogs, one who had 3 legs and just one eye. I’m allergic to dogs.
The trailer behind the vehicle carried an enormous satellite dish, the kind that sits in your yard, as we pulled into “Arrivals and Departures.” It was broken by the time they made it to Kentucky cause that guy is no genius.
Mom divorced him (#3) about 10 years ago and he just finally left last month after robbing her blind. Before he left she chased him around the parking lot attempting to assault him but couldn’t catch him. Now I’m not saying he didn’t deserve an ass kicking but these people are 70 and 74 or something like that.
He told her he was coming back to shoot her. She went home, got her gun, sat in a chair and waited. She no doubt paid for both guns at some point. Dumbass.
I had a dream about him recently and I’m sure it’s because of all the awful stories I’ve heard from my sister and niece about inappropriate things he’s said to them. They just take it. He told my sister he couldn’t train her as a truck driver cause it would be too difficult to travel with her, he’s just too attracted to her. Gag. Puke. Kill.
In my dream I took a friend home with me and woke up with him putting his hands inside her underwear. I was watching her face and she was begging me to help but I couldn’t reach her in time.
Now that is some fucked up shit to dream about your mother’s husband. Needless to say, I will not be introducing anyone ever again to these idiots. I don’t know what I’d do if, instead of hearsay, I was there in person for the daily perversions they consider typical. And I don’t know how I’d live with myself if I just accepted it the way other females in the family do.
So, yeah, Mom wonders why I’m not in close contact.
Go fuck yourself, Mom.