My daughter is 10 and she met a friend named T. who was adopted and happens to be black. Her parents are both clearly white. And my daughter asked me, “Does she know she’s adopted?” I love that.
She has not learned the technicalities of sex yet and when she recently asked why someone could not have a baby her second question was, “Can’t they just plant the seed? You know, the seed!” We have more friends who have had children through in vitro than otherwise. I wish we could maintain her innocence for longer than it will be possible.
I grew up in a home that was prejudiced. I think I was probably around 10 or maybe a little younger when I overheard an adult conversation regarding something about, “Black people are going to take over the world.” I remember thinking, so clearly, while standing on my front porch, “Then I want some black friends!” This was in the day of Charlie Manson and Richard Speck, when I was having dreams of mass murderers entering our home. The last thing I was concerned about were black people, since all the crazy people I saw on the news were white.
I went on to take summer classes at Illinois State University and work in group homes where I was the only white person. I learned about soul music and wondered why white people listened to such total shit!? I learned that there was completely no difference in loving a black person or a white person.
As a mother of a white son, my heart breaks for all the black women of the world who must live in fear that their sons are in danger when they step foot from their own homes. As the mother of a blonde daughter I am devastated for all the beautiful little black girls who don’t realize how perfect they are because of all the stupidity in the world.
Hopefully there will come a day when blacks in America are really treated equally. We are not even close yet. White people must see the problem before it can be fixed.
When I lived in California it seemed like a racial nirvana compared to Illinois. I then moved to North Carolina and it felt like 1950 all over again. I expected the northeast to be more like California, but it’s really not. I wish I could do something more in my life to even out the unfairness of it all. I am proud of my daughter.