People Are Really, Really Nuts

I went to the Hannah Montana movie today. I didn’t see the show, just stood in the lobby. A friend had tickets and needed an extra kid, so mine won the prize. (Thanks, A. & T.!)

Anyone who’s unfamiliar with this subject, Hannah Montana has her own television show for pre-teens/teens and is Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter. He is famous in the field of country music, if you’re still lost. Someone named Miley Cyrus and a group called The Jonas Brothers are also in the movie.

The movie is on for a single week, it’s in 3-D, tickets are available on-line, and they cost $15 each. Her concerts last summer were a scalpers dream, with tickets selling for astronomical prices. One mother even helped her child write a contest entry for free tickets, stating that her father had died in the war. It was blatantly false.

We got to watch other moms act like they were on the Jerry Springer show. It was fantastic. Except when the little girl behind us started to cry, and then my daughter got tears in her eyes because we were surrounded by crazies.

The brouhaha was started by, what else, evil line cutters. The mom was wearing those hot pointed-toe boots with 2-inch spike heels that I really wish I could somehow wear on my size 11 feet without looking like a transvestite.

Some of these lunatics showed up at 2 p.m. to begin the line for a 4 p.m. movie. WHAT? We sailed in at about 3:30 and there were probably 200 people in line ahead of us.

Most of the viewing audience consisted of mothers with girls in the 5-7 age range. Some children had Hannah Montana wigs on! Ugg boots on a 7-year old! These mothers are a breed of their own. I may go back tomorrow and just sit in the lobby to check it out again.

When the cutting occurred, the mother behind us began to yell and curse. Then she rushed around us and tried to do exactly what she was yelling that the other people had done. This prompted a fat woman in the secondary line to join in with angry remarks about the five tiny little girls who managed to get inside with their pushy adult person. Their little eyes glittered with fear.

I felt sorry for the ticket guy. He’s making what, $7/hour?

It was every bit as good as a Disney spectacular!

There were even copied signs taped to the entry door which stated: “This is a movie, not an actual concert. People must remain in their seats. No dancing in the aisles will be allowed, no glow sticks, no lighters.”

People are so fucking nuts it’s magical.

On the way home we were passed on the right by an idiot in a speeding Hummer, driving in the extremely heavy rain, a flood watch type of rain, as if he had pontoons available in case of hydroplaning.

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