I stopped writing for a while, as I felt I was being too negative, focusing too much on the past. I’ve made some big changes in my life and I feel so much better. Honest to God, no one needs a therapist as much as they really need a great hairdresser. I stopped wearing sweatshirts and found some clothes I like. I had to, it was really hot this summer.
I took my daughter out of school and began to homeschool. I’m excited to be around people who are interesting and unique. I don’t need to agree with someone if they are at least expressing an opinion and making me think. That’s all I care about, that you attempt to express yourself in this lifetime!
We had a party with 38 people at my house. I survived. Even as my sister-in-law criticqued nearly everything. I didn’t care! She’s an idiot! My daughter turned 10 and I can survive without a baby in the house. She’s leaving the gawky stage behind and I love that she looks beautiful to me. She got a cell phone and I say — F’it! If that’s what makes her happy then so be it.
We did some great stuff this summer: drove to Illinois and spent a week, fireworks over the river in Peoria, Atlantic City, tubing on the Delaware, NYC on more than one occasion, Broadway, biking through Manhattan, portraits on the street, King Tut’s exhibit at Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. We did a lot of walking and meeting friends.
My son was home for a while and spoke with me more freely, seems more like another adult, an equal. He drove with me as a passenger and I was so impressed that I wasn’t scared — because he’s such a good driver, not because I did anything differently. He’s just a lovely boy. And I have to remember that he’s a man, treat him as a man, and offer suggestions only when requested. I must remember how much I hate it when others offer undesired advice.
We’re going to the Outer Banks in October and Disney in December. I bought curtains! I bought curtains! I made a decision and put them on the wall.
I’ve come to believe that my indecision sometimes stifles me to the point where I can barely breathe! I have to end the craving for perfection.
My food sucks. I am eating sugar and need to stop. It is the only potential negative in my life at the moment. You can’t beat that.
We’re in classes for the fall, some together, most only for my daughter. I can breathe when I have options available, places to go and people to see. Life is grand:)