Mea Culpa

If I ever adopted a kid like my new fun friend A. did, her first words, perhaps with a beautiful French or Spanish accent, would more than likely be “FUCK” and/or “MOTHERFUCKER!” Then I might teach her a few words about American food, like “Twizzlers” and maybe “Diet Coke.” I would rarely make her go to bed and I would let her run naked whenever she desired. If she wanted to go outside without a coat in the winter I would be fine with that. Sometimes I suck at being a mom. I mean I REALLY SUCK. I believe God…

Best way to unlock iphone 11

It’s really irritating when you realize that your iPhone 11 is locked on a particular network. When you travel to another country, your phone becomes useless – you cannot use a foreign SIM card. If your iPhone 11 is locked on a network and you want to switch to another provider, you’re in luck. Fortunately, there are a few simple ways to unlock your iPhone 11 with free unlock codes. In this article, we will review and explain websites that offer different free unlock codes for iPhone 11. Read more and find out how to use four iPhone 11 sites…

Stuff I Never Learned . .

Girls are supposed to learn certain stuff from their mothers. However, my mother had no girlfriends, really, and she didn’t do a lot of typical girl stuff. She was pretty controlling and demanding, sort of what you normally expect from the stereotypical American father. There are a lot of blank spaces in my training manual. Once, she did tell me that if she died I would have to do her make-up before the funeral, that no one else would know how she liked it. I was about nine at the time. I sometimes watched the paint sessions, while she sat…

Changes . . .

I stopped writing for a while, as I felt I was being too negative, focusing too much on the past. I’ve made some big changes in my life and I feel so much better. Honest to God, no one needs a therapist as much as they really need a great hairdresser. I stopped wearing sweatshirts and found some clothes I like. I had to, it was really hot this summer. I took my daughter out of school and began to homeschool. I’m excited to be around people who are interesting and unique. I don’t need to agree with someone if…

My Weight

In 1979 I flunked a class entitled “Personal Health & Weight Control,” my sophomore year at the University of Oregon, and instead jumped out of a plane and got an A in Skydiving. Did I lose any weight from skydiving? No. Was it a fun experience? No. It was horrific. But so was the fat class. How do the two relate? Even at 19 the skykdiving instructor could read me well enough to say, “Please be honest about your weight because it really matters when choosing a parachute.” I probably weighed about 167 at the time, something that made me…

Haiti & Twinkies

I know a woman adopting a third child, a boy from Haiti.  I am fascinated by this jump from a cliff and a little jealous.  I am in awe at the Olympian-like willingness to accept the necessary pain and take home the gold.  I am not an Olympian.  I’m the guy who gets in a car when the marathon begins and then waits in a bush near the finish line. It’s the fact that he’s a third child that brings up issues for me.  Why did I stop at two? I wish I was the kind of person who would go for…

Truly unprejudiced

My daughter is 10 and she met a friend named T. who was adopted and happens to be black.  Her parents are both clearly white.  And my daughter asked me, “Does she know she’s adopted?”  I love that. She has not learned the technicalities of sex yet and when she recently asked why someone could not have a baby her second question was, “Can’t they just plant the seed?  You know, the seed!”  We have more friends who have had children through in vitro than otherwise.  I wish we could maintain her innocence for longer than it will be possible.…

One Day Childhood Ends

Yesterday my daughter washed and dried her hair for the first time.  She recently had her very first professional haircut and layers were added to her long curls, making it easier to deal with.  It’s no longer stringy and separate, or hanging like a long rastafarian’s dreadlocks. In the car she began telling my husband and I that the reason she wants to do her own hair is because of all the bitching I did while removing the tangles.  Sometimes we would go 3 or 4 days without taking on the task, and then it would be an overwhelming nightmare. …

How to win the lottery. Tips from mathematicians

We all wondered how to win the lottery, but what we would do with the lotto millions! Some would buy the car they dream of, the villa with the pool they see in movies or the neighbors, or they would travel all over the world. Others would help others in need. For this, however, some luck is needed. However, mathematicians say that luck is made by the man with his hand, being almost certain that you can greatly increase your chances of winning with the help of mathematics. How to win the lottery – that’s the secret Renato Gianella, a…

Diabetic Hell and/or My Husband is an Evil Genius

It’s been about 10 years that I’ve known about my diabetes and the fact that it means I should consume no white sugar, no white flour.  In the beginning I took it quite seriously. I remember sitting in a restaurant with tears streaming down my face as I ordered a turkey sandwich on whole wheat with lettuce, onion and mustard while my family members ate french fries and burgers. Do I tend toward feeling sorry for myself?  Oh fuck yes.  It’s not a trait I like, not something I feel pride in, but at least I’m honest.  I’m like a…