Human Meat Loaf Explodes

The only thing that motivates me most days is anger, not love or money or sex or competition, just anger.  I like the feeling that my head is about to pop off. When life is smooth I’m basically a human meat loaf. It’s most often people on Facebook who do me the favor of pissing me off, since I am a social misfit who only leaves the house when absolutely necessary. Today a woman named Lisa is asking how long her husband gets a free pass before she can call him an asshole.  They’re on their way to his mother’s…

There’s A Burrito In My Pants

My daughter and I were on our way to meet friends at Barnes & Noble.  As always, I was running late. The only time it would ever interest me to scrub out the tub is when the car is packed to go on vacation.  Similarly, I might start a blog entry when I’m supposed to meet someone, like today, in an hour. The end result: I never take the time to properly put myself together.  I wear the same clothes I slept in more often than the average bear. On this particular Saturday night, as Rachel and I flew down the road,…

No Matter Where I Go, There I Am

Since my husband retired our lives have simply been weird. For close to three months I’ve been sleeping on the couch. It took a while to get used to it, but now I’m relatively comfy and it works. But when I wake up in the morning he is sitting approximately three feet from my head, as is exhibited in the following photo: Our home is relatively large, but every morning he’s right there working on a sudoku puzzle in the NY Post. To be perfectly fair, this is the seat he always sat in before I began sleeping on the…