Twisted Job Applicant Looking For High Pay & Low Expectations

I keep looking for a job but it occasionally strikes me (after hours of perusing want ads and finding nothing viable) that I am the pickiest (or laziest) applicant ever to put in an application (or not). For example, one of the very few things I love to do is care for babies before they can walk, talk or think for themselves. I have this skewed image of myself as Aunt Jemima, a loving, caring baby mama. Reality: I am happy to hold the baby, caress it, love it, speak sweetly to it, as long as it gazes into my…

Ofukme

Someone told me today he can’t just complain about being fat and skip the gym or that makes him a hypocrite. Ofukme. I wish it was just the gym. I hate the sound of my own thoughts. R.E.P.E.T.I.T.I.V.E. I’m actually shocked that other people can’t read them, that they can misread me. Especially people who are constantly with me cause it seems like I’m screaming. It’s so much worse now that my husband is retired. Now he’s just here, staring off into . . . something. I’m not sure what. When we go places he sits in the back of…

Twisted Dipshit

Either I do nothing or I do everything at once. Every once in a while I will wake up and schedule myself and/or my daughter for 12 classes and 7 appointments that reach far into the future.  But most days I do nothing. So last week I purchased 30 days worth of Isagenix to try and get my eating on track.  I had the option of ordering 11 days worth, but went all the way.  What could I have been thinking? The lovely & extremely thin woman who is my “counselor” has provided me with all kinds of directions.  Oh…