Twisted Job Interview &/or I Hate Pretending I’d Hire Myself

Oh, I present so nicely at an interview with my toothy midwestern smile & expensive highlights & thick silver rings.  My laugh is pleasant and I make comments that clearly show empathy for how difficult the interviewer’s job must be.  After all, I did hire a chick to replace me once and she was an absolute disaster. (Her name was Jameelah and she changed all the computer file names for multiple appellate death penalty cases, with a brief due the following week.  Then she quit.  The attorney nearly had a nervous breakdown.  Clearly, I am not personnel material.) * * *…

Twisted Commitment &/or Welcome, Ray!

I told my husband last night that I don’t want him to read the blog.  You’d have thought I asked him to lop off his penis.  In other words, I’m sure he’ll be reading daily now. Say hello to Ray!  If he’d comment I might be more accepting, but he will not.  I believe in the CIA they call men like him spooks. I know this thing called marriage is far reaching and supposed to be about “commitment,” at least that’s what he keeps telling me.  To me ”commitment” is something that happens when you’re checked into a mental hospital against…

Twisted Employee &/or What Was I Thinking

Today was the third day in a row I had to be somewhere before noon, a monumentally big deal since I often don’t go to sleep until 5 a.m. As I passed cars on the right and drove sometimes 25+ mph over the speed limit, maniacal thoughts racing through my head, words that should not really enter the realm of any person never diagnosed as schizophrenic or psychotic, I wondered what my new employers would think if they could “see me now.” Yes, as of 5 p.m. I had completely finished training and been given a name tag with my…